Seen is a groundbreaking feature-length documentary that not only explores the transformative power of personal healing for parents, but also delves into the scientifically supported effects of such healing on parenting and its impact on child brain development.
By focusing on the unexplored aspect of parents confronting their own childhood coping mechanisms, Seen is poised to fill a significant gap in current narratives. It provides not just compelling storytelling, but also the potential for profound societal impact, making it an appealing proposition for those looking to invest in content that drives change.
Directed by award-winning filmmaker Hailey Bartholomew, Seen, following its premiere this past weekend in Sydney, is set to screen across the country, with a variety of live Q&A’s, including the participation of former NRL great, wellbeing educator, and parent Joe Williams, who speaks of his own experiences as a father in the film.
Ahead of Seen‘s national tour, Peter Gray spoke with Williams about his involvement in the film, the importance of not controlling the narrative for his children, and what this new generation can learn from those that came before.
Seen is the type of documentary that opens up a lot of thoughts and conversations. What was it for you that drew you initially to Hailey’s film?
I think a lot of the generations that have gone before us, collectively speaking, they just did the best with what they knew. They repeat all they know. Because that was all they knew how to, and we can’t be too critical of that. I’m a big believer of people are doing the best they can with the tools they have. I honestly think it’s this generation, with the internet and their exposure to so many different things, and different education, that will cause change.
But, you know, there’s some fantastic experts that are involved in this documentary. And would I’ve come across these experts in everyday life, in the circles I’m in? Probably not. So, it’s just great to get good exposure in your own personal life around what’s beneficial for our young people. I’m a huge believer that our parents do the best they can with the tools they have. They all come from a place of genuine love. Sometimes, we’re just exposed to different information to be able to change that narrative. It’s not being critical of parents. It’s just having the opportunity to be able to make it different.
Were there vulnerabilities that you weren’t expecting to talk about? Was there anything that you uncovered about yourself as you were being interviewed?
I think for me, I come from a place of what is coming from me, my behaviour, and how that impacts the young people in my life. My entire narrative was around that and what I have control of. I’ve got five kids to three separate relationships, and each child is from a very different part of my life and a very different part of me, if that makes sense. Who I was as a dad at 20-years-old and who I am now as a dad are two very different people. I’m not the same person. And that’s through my behaviour and my education, and my willingness to be able to get curious about why I do what I do.
Two of your eldest children are interviewed in Seen. Was there anything off limits?
There’s no benefit to anyone if there’s a controlled narrative. I said to my kids before they were interviewed that they had full permission to say how they feel and what they think. Because that is their truth. What made the final cut and what was said in the interview? Holy smokes, man. There was some shit that hit me fair between the eyes and pierced my heart, but I had to respect how they felt. With that (though) I’ve got an opportunity to change what I do and how I do it and how I interact now to then repair that. So the most important thing was to not have a controlled narrative.
I was conscious that I didn’t want a controlled narrative. If they went in there and they just absolutely went to town and this documentary turned out shit, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But they picked little nuggets of gold that fit a beautiful storyline that captured emotion and captured intelligence. I’m just so super proud of them in all aspects. And it was super healing for them (too).
Do you feel like you have a balance of being open and vulnerable with your children, whilst providing security and stability?
That’s where it’s the work of the parent. There can’t be a balance of, “Hey, this acceptable and this is not.” What we do to our kids, we have to have full responsibility. We might not have mentored, but our actions, our words, our behaviour, and how that all lands with our kids are all different narratives. We might say, “I love you” a million times, but our kids may never feel loved. It’s all about understanding how it lands for them.
Do you find that your cultural background influences your parenting style? And is it important for you to then pass on those cultural values?
Yes. Now. Now, because I’ve had to reconnect with that. I’ve always known I was an Aboriginal ,an all my life. I knew that, right? But there were values that I didn’t live with because I wasn’t exposed to it, because colonization has done one hell of a job in disconnecting that and forcefully removing all those things.
And working as a mental health advocate. Do you see Seen contributing to the broader conversation around emotional well-being and that dynamic?
Brother, everything that we see playing out now in communities, mentally and emotionally, is a very direct response to the ways that we’ve been living. So unless we change it, it is only going to get worse. And that might be hard for some people to understand. I’m not saying that Aboriginal people should go and live in the bush. That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that we need to collectively start to look at the village and prioritize what that looks like for our communities.
It’s just about being open to it all (too). I’m not saying that depression is developed as a baby, but a lack of connection and lack of secure attachment, I think, plays a big part in how we behave and how we think about and view the world as adults.
As you mentioned that who you were at 20-years-old as a father to who you are now are two wildly different people. Would there be anything you’d want to tell your younger self?
Yeah, of course. I mean, it’s pointless trying to go back and look at what happened 15 years ago, 10 years ago…even going back to yesterday. We can’t do anything about that. But what we can do is, is continuously build our relationships and make sure that our kids are seen, valued and heard now.
Do you find with your understanding of trauma, have you found that creating a safe, emotional space within your family is something that’s come organically?
I think when you plant the seeds for young people, they get into it. My seven-year-old might tell me to put my phone down and just listen to them. I think, “Wow, that’s a seven-year-old saying that?” There’s something inside if me that just has to stop and listen. I’m the dad, but my kid is doing the best they can in that moment to get my attention. All of us. You, me, everyone…we are living in a world where we are constantly looking for validation and attention because the environments (we knew) didn’t foster it when we were young. And, again, that’s not a poke at the older generation. It’s a poke at colonization and the industrial revolution, and how we are living a more disconnected life.
Seen is screening across Australia and New Zealand from March 9th through to April 29th, 2025. For specific screening locations and dates, head to the official Seen website here.
