Motherhood might be the most fulfilling, yet thankless role to be taken on in life. And it’s the job of being a mother that Mary Bronstein uncomfortably showcases in If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, where Linda (Rose Byrne, who delivers a career best turn here) embodies how taxing – emotionally, physically, and mentally – such a position can be. It’s an exhausting, tense, darkly comical journey, one that won’t soon be forgotten, but unlikely to be revisited in a hurry.
Bronstein, who has an amusing, minor role as a disapproving doctor, keeps the camera claustrophobically close on Linda for the majority of the film’s 114 minutes, where we are privy to the fact that Linda’s young daughter (Delaney Quinn), who is never seen in her entirety, has an illness of sorts. It’s never specifically disclosed as to what ails the child, but knowing that she has to eat through a tube and the equipment accompanying such is cumbersome – to say the least – speaks to Linda’s exhaustion and the film’s overall harrowing nature. Keeping her daughter as an unseen, but nevertheless felt presence lends itself to the oft-unspoken conversation around the burden children can sometimes be. This is not the fault of the child, but as much as her innocence can’t be denied, it’s understandable as to why Linda feels under her command in some ways; and it’s why she spends so much of the film trying to avoid certain responsibilities, to retain what it is to be a woman separate from being a mother.
Bronstein’s script quite masterfully avoids Linda ever being painted as an entirely selfish character – even if her actions sometime speak to so. The film putting us in her shoes shows us how taxing an existence she lives – with a husband (a largely voice-acted Christian Slater) that is always away working, an apartment roof that has collapsed in on itself, forcing mother and daughter into an uncomfortable motel room, and a therapist (a wryly funny Conan O’Brien) who has all but given up on her, merely going through the passive aggressive motions in their sessions. Even Linda’s own job as a therapist has its tests, with one of her clients, crumbling young mother Caroline (Danielle Macdonald), abandoning her child and leaving it in Linda’s reluctant care. She truly can’t catch a break – even her daughter’s school’s parking attendant spits harassment at her – and it’s that lack of empathy for Linda that seems to be the film’s point.
Her world is decaying, through no fault of her own, but her actions will constantly be scrutinized by an outside world who don’t see the work she’s putting in to staying afloat. The only respite she receives comes in the form of James (A$AP Rocky, impressive), the motel superintendent, who quickly befriends her, but, such is the genius of Bronstein’s script, the film continually keeps us one edge with his intentions; does he genuinely want to be her friend? Is he hoping for a more sexual interaction? Perhaps eager to take advantage of a mother down on her luck? The film practically begs us to expect the worst, so even with someone who appears genuine – like James – we, like the exasperated Linda, can’t help but have a certain guard up in his presence.
To say If I Had Legs I’d Kick You (a title that is all the more resonant the more Linda suffers across each depleted minute) is an enervating experience is putting it lightly. It’s an escapable type of film. It’s triggering, devastating, allegorical and dryly, blackly funny, with a performance for the ages in Byrne, who commits frighteningly full-bodied so, walking away with the film that, even if you reject the story, you’ll be unable to forget its impact due to her undeniably stellar performance.
FOUR AND A HALF STARS (OUT OF FIVE)
If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is now screening in Australian theatres.
