Dear Parks and Recreation,
I don’t think you quite realise how much I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you more than Tom Haverford misses 90s RnB! More than Ron Swanson misses the days when the government didn’t exist [despite not being alive then]. More than Andy is going to miss Champion, now that he’s hanging out with Lord Covington in London town.
My dearest Parks and Rec, I don’t like it when you go away for so long. Nobody can do without you for such a vast period of time – even Jerry came back into the fold merely days after his retirement. The Parks department, as bizarre as it is, simply is not a place that anybody is ready to say goodbye to. [Except for Mark Brandanowicz, but he was from Town Planning anyway].
But now you’re back, and I am ever so grateful. What an episode that was! Despite (only) being a double episode, it felt like much more. So many things happened that we, your ever devoted audience, have been thrown right back into the swing of things. It doesn’t feel like you’ve only just started up again; it feels like you’ve been back for weeks. And that’s a very good feeling.
But where do I begin in telling you what this wonderful opening episode meant to me? Do we talk about Ron and Diane’s shotgun wedding, which was exactly the kind of affair one would expect from a Swanson? What about the return of April and Andy’s adoptive grandmother, the snarky Ethel Beavers? It was all so perfect – and that’s only the beginning! You gave me London! And Peter Serafinovicz! And the Saperstein family [could you have cast Jean-Ralphio’s father any more perfectly? I think not].
The whole episode gave me so many things to laugh about, and to cry about. You’re the only sitcom on television that has me caring about every single character on an emotional level. I’ve grown too attached to you over the past five years. It’s probably quite unhealthy, but then again, so are Nutri-Yums, and I doubt anybody in Pawnee will be giving them up any time soon.
We’ve got a lot of things coming up throughout this new season. While there are plenty of exciting happenings to look forward to, I know we’ll also be facing a lot of challenges along the way. But even though we have some hard times ahead, never fear, dear Parks and Rec, for I shall remain here by your side. Even if it is just for the sake of this weekly column.
I love you more than Leslie loves waffles [or I would, if that were even possible],
Your devoted fan,
PS. As you’ve not yet given a ridiculous nickname to the Chris Treager/Ann Perkins bundle of joy, I’d like to christen the baby ‘Twerkins’ in honour of Miley Cyrus, unless somebody else comes up with something better. [Please come up with something better than that. Please].