Yesterday, Naarm’s Joan & the Giants released their latest EP, the emotive and healing The Five Stages of Grief. The genesis of the EP was the ending of the relationship between frontwoman Gracie Newton-Wordsworth and former guitarist Aaron Birch. It’s an incredibly vulnerable and honest record, featuring contributions from both parties. It was a nine-year relationship, so its ending would have a significant impact on both parties.
As you’d expect from the title, across the six songs on the record, it traverses the various stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It’s a record that will help many others on a similar journey. It’s melodic, melancholy, fierce and throughout all, brave and unflinchingly honest.
The band is about to head out and tour the EP – all the dates are below. Do get along if you can and support live music. These shows are going to be very special indeed.
We caught up with Gracie to talk about the record. Her honesty and frankness is inspiring and touching.
This EP is incredibly personal. When you decided to lay out the story of your breakup in song form, was there a moment where you thought, “Yeah, I can share this,” or did it feel like a leap into the unknown right up until now?
It is a very, deeply personal EP and being completely honest here – a huge part of me did not want to release it as it felt too close to home and incredibly vulnerable to write and record. So in a way, I suppose it all feels like a leap into the unknown releasing this.
The EP was written during a breakup with our previous guitarist Aaron who was my partner for over 9 years. We wrote these songs partly together, and some on our own as well. I can’t explain the pain of having to sing some of them on stage together for over a year after we actually broke up – It felt very Fleetwood Mac, but without the fame and money.
I think I decided to release these songs because music has always been about healing for me. It feels cathartic to share this body of work with the world and close this hauntingly sad and awful chapter of my life – I’ve decided to get on board with this leap, and hopefully these songs will help or relate to someone else going through a hard time or a breakup.
Some songs were written together (you and Aaron), others apart. How did that mix of collaboration and separation shape the way the EP tells its story?
I think we had to write some separately and some on our own to tell the full story of what was going on, from both sides. Often with music you just hear the story of the person who has been broken up with or going through something personally, but for us – it came from both of our hearts and there’s something really hauntingly beautiful about that (painful, but beautiful).
The tracklist follows the actual stages of grief. Was that always the plan, or did you realise partway through that the songs were falling into that shape?
I had this idea of calling the EP The Five Stages of Grief during one of our final studio sessions with our producer Dylan, who also helped write and bring together some of these songs. Everything just felt so heavy all the time, but towards the end of the recording it felt like we were moving through something bigger and I realised it truly was grief.
I didn’t know it would be called this until the end of writing all the songs, so that’s why it felt serendipitous finding this title. It just made sense to put the songs in that order, which most of them were actually written in.
“Feels Like Heartache” is all aching melancholy, while “How Could You?” comes in swinging with pure frustration. How do you capture those totally different moods without losing the thread of the record?
I was worried about this as I wanted the songs to flow, and not feel jarring. I think it works because of the title and meaning behind the EP – all the songs do capture the five stages of grief, which is why I think we somehow made it work? I think?
“Feels Like Heartache“ was written by myself and Aaron on our old living room couch after we first broke up, we sat there crying and this song just came out of nowhere capturing that immense sadness and the first stage – denial; we wholeheartedly believed we couldn’t live without each other but knew in order to lead a healthier life; we had to let it go. This feeling then moves dramatically into ‘anger’ – the second stage of grief with “How Could You?”’ I wrote this about why it all ended – if you listen to the lyrics it’s quite easy to work it all out.
I also like when a body of work has different moods and sounds, and I wasn’t against shaking it up sonically.
Aaron’s song “All I Know” brings his perspective right into the centre of the EP. Why was it important to keep both voices in the narrative, even when it might have been hard to hear?
I think this is a really special song. I first heard the demo in the car on our way to Broome for a duo tour. It was heartwrenching to hear these incredibly honest lyrics, and yet I also thought it was the most special song he’s ever written.
“I’m still a child and there’s nothing left”
This was one where I really struggled in the studio. The whole process was overwhelming, and I cried heavily through three vocal takes until I couldn’t sing it anymore. It’s raw, real and I feel necessary for the story of what we were going through, and this whole EP. We didn’t change this one, it’s the same lyrics as the demo and it’s authentically Aaron’s perspective.
You’ve played stadium shows with P!NK and Tones and I, hit SXSW in Texas and Sydney, and been part of BIGSOUND. How do those huge career highs sit alongside the very personal story this EP tells?
It’s really hard to reminisce on these moments in many ways. Social media paints a very different picture to what was really going on behind the scenes. During huge opportunities like supporting Pink, we were really struggling with this breakup. We’ve been working on music and writing for over 7 years, and it’s strange how life throws these curveballs at you in the most pressure filled moments. We were on an absolute high playing that stadium Pink support after making music together for so long and working so hard, but then we were going home to chaotic, pain soaked walls which was just heartbreaking. Hard to put it all into words really.
I think SXSW Austin was part of a new chapter for me, where we’d parted ways and it was the first time I was embarking on a solo adventure with the band without Aaron. It felt scary, but also incredibly freeing to know I could still pursue this music dream – one that had always been completely intertwined with Aaron. I think a huge part of me felt I really couldn’t do it without him, and it’s been very nice to know it’s something I can still do, as it’s always been my dream and my biggest love.
The “acceptance” stage gets two songs here, “Still Breathing” and “Part of Me”. Do you see them as two sides of the same moment, or completely separate ways of finding peace?
I think I see them as two slightly separate stages of acceptance. ‘Still Breathing’ felt like we were still in the fight, still in the sadness but also still here, still alive and somehow ‘still breathing’ and accepting what was going on. “Part of Me” felt like the true stage of acceptance. I wrote that on a one month tour, which was a chaotic fight the entire time – absolutely brutal and the worst part of the entire breakup for all of us.
Heading toward the end of the tour in Brisbane, I had reached a point of no return and knew that this relationship and this story had to end for everyone’s sake. I had accepted the truth, it was done and it was going to be okay.
For me, it’s as though I had to become completely broken in order to understand that this relationship was over, and that it was the right decision to let it go. The hardest part was knowing that we had to say goodbye to be able to live separate, happier lives. The dream we had when we started writing music together at 18 had faded, and our love that was once our light, had become darkness.
“I’m saying goodbye to the life I thought we’d have forever
But you will always be a part of me”
Gracie, you’ve said you felt like a butterfly trapped in a cocoon, and now you’re starting to stretch your wings. How is that showing up in your day-to-day life these days?
It’s taken me a long time to start feeling okay. I’ve recently moved to Melbourne, and a huge reason for this was that I needed a change, a shift, a fresh start. I do feel like I’m starting to ‘spread my wings’ and find peace in my life. This relationship was never easy, and there’s a lot I’m sitting with now, and finding my own closure.
I think releasing and writing this music was healing, but the pain was immense. I am so grateful for my friends and family and the people I surround myself with – they really saved my life through this whole process. There’s a lot about life to love, and I’m just going to keep singing and dancing my way through it all. I have realised I’m an incredibly resilient person, and I just want to find that happiness in the day to day – which is what I’m doing now.
You’ve got your own headline tour coming up, then a sold-out run with The Fray. What are you most excited about when it comes to playing these songs live for people?
To be honest, I don’t think we’ll be playing the whole EP much. I love a few songs from it, but some of them are just too hard to play live for me. Songs like “All I Know” and “When You Were Mine” are too painful. I’m excited to do a really intimate EP launch and speak on the songs, but then I feel like I’m just going to be curating sets that feel a bit more joyful and resonate with me and the boys.
The Fray is a dream come true, I love this band SO much! We’re going to have the best time on this tour, and the boys couldn’t be more stoked about it all too. I can’t believe we get to play with a band that has impacted my life on such a huge scale! It’s HECTIC!
Does The Five Stages of Grief feel like a bookend to this chapter of Joan & the Giants, or is it more of a launchpad into whatever is next?
It definitely feels like more of a bookend than a new chapter. We’re working on some new music which feels like a slightly different direction and I’m excited to close this book and move forward into the next.
If someone is going through their own heartbreak right now, which song from the EP would you want them to hear first, and why?
I feel like “Feels Like Heartache” is a good one to start on, as I think it relates to so many situations. A lot of the time breakups are confusing, and there’s a lot of push and pull and reconnecting and not knowing whether you should or shouldn’t go back to someone. I think it can feel like a drug, so if someone’s trying to get clean and step away – that one feels like it might resonate.
At the end of the day, after everything you have put into this, what is the one feeling or thought you hope people walk away with after listening?
I think I’d like to leave a feeling of hope after heartbreak.
I hope this EP helps people release some emotion. I think in today’s world, people are sometimes afraid to cry and just be real with ourselves. Life is fkn hard, and that’s okay – we’re in this together and pain is a universal feeling. We need to connect more, and be more real with each other. I hope this EP can relate to people in some way and bring some warmth, emotion, connection and love to them x
The Five Stages of Grief from Joan & the Giants is out now – grab a copy HERE
The Five Stages of Grief Tour
Header image credit: Brittany Long
