Live Review: The Beards + The Timbers + Goldstein – The Gov, Adelaide (02.08.14)

The Beards

The Beards always pull a big crowd and put on a great show. So when they rolled in to The Gov on Saturday night, there was no way I was going to miss it.

The gig was a sell-out, and on a freezing winters night The Gov felt like a Viking mead hall, wall-to-wall with hairy men (and a handful of hairy women), there was many a DIY beard to be seen amongst the crowd.

The night was a home-town affair, with three great Adelaide bands coming together and we came in out of the cold to the sound of Goldstein kicking things off. Goldstein, play high-spirited, endearing folk with a refreshingly Aussie, bush-band sound. The gentlemen are a class-act, talented and a lot of fun to watch.

Speaking of beards, The Timbers brought their rough and ready, irish inspired folk songs, and their beards, to The Gov’s stage, and let the crowd know that they were ready to have a good time. Playing fast and furious folk, The Timbers were tight, enjoyable and a really great live act.

When they requested a circle pit the crowd parted, linked arms and formed a circle. It was hilarious to watch crowd members then proceeded to take turns sharing their experimental folk-inspired dance moves in the middle of this crowd-wide group hug, until the chorus when the crowd would all start dancing.

After two great sets we had heard some amazing music, but had we seen enough facial hair? The answer is ‘no!’

Enter… The Beards.

Just to make sure we were all on board, they started their set with “I Like Beards.” Though there is more to The Beards than a whole lot of facial hair. They are not just a good comedy rock act, they are genuinely amazing musicians.

Up front Johann Beardraven rampages across the stage, stroking the ol’ gravy-catcher. His love for beards is unequivocal, not just his own, but every hairy-faced member of the audience and he tries to high-five every bearded punter!

“Beards Across Australia Unite” was a call which was answered by all the bearded Aussie’s in the crowd. While “All the Bearded Ladies” makes me ponder for a moment how the Beards would go covering the bearded lady of the moment, Conchita Wurst’s “Rise Like A Phoenix.”

We learned that being a fresh-faced roady with The Beards is hard work, as poor Michael (though he will always be Markael to Johann Beardraven) was booed by the crowd every single time he set foot on the stage. Being a beardless female myself, I admit to feeling a strong sense of beard-envy by the third, or forth whisker-worshiping number.

A bearded member of the crowd was invited on stage to take “The Bearded Pledge” to never shave a single hair, Johann Beardraven rocked out on a bearded key-tar and John Beardman Jr split his time between drumming and combing his beard.

After a fantastic set full of hilarious lyrics, amazing music, and some impressive beard fondling, the set wrapped up with the two biggest hits in bearded musical history “If Your Dad Doesn’t Have A Beard, You’ve Got Two Mums” and “You Should Consider Having Sex With A Bearded Man.” The latter being a late night piece of advice to the ladies in the crowd and you can only hope that the advice didn’t fall on deaf ears, or beardless faces.


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