Lord Alaric Valerian has spent centuries isolated in his crumbling castle, busying himself with his artistic endeavours, and making a fine mess while doing it. But, even vampires suffer from overbearing parents and his mother has decided that Black Crag Castle is the perfect place for a ball – a ball where they will announce Alaric’s union with another high ranking vampire.
Enter Winnie Preston. Professional organiser, human, recent dumpee. Winnie jumps at the opporunity to ditch London for the tiny village of Argleton and help tidy Alaric’s castle for the ball. After all, the Winnie Wins system hasn’t failed her yet. But one thing her careful planning hasn’t prepared her for is the moody vampire stomping around Black Crag like a fanged Fitzwilliam Darcy.
And as the pair work their way through the relics of Alaric’s past, it’s hard to deny the growing attraction between them, even as the date of Alaric’s ball – and his impending nuptials – grows closer.
Steffanie Holmes‘ Fangs For Nothing is Beauty and the Beast meets Marie Kondo, if the Beast was a sexy grumpy vampire and if the things that sparked joy were centuries old swords. It’s a lot of fun, with a eclectic cast of characters, an engaging story, and a good amount of spice – particularly of the vampiric variety.
Trope-wise, we’re firmly in sunshine/grumpy territory here, with a fake engagement and a small town setting thrown in for good measure, and – bonus – our female main character is a Sleep Token fan. Clearly a woman of taste.
While the plot obviously focuses on Alaric and Winnie’s evolving relationship, a team of locals known as the Nevermore Murder Club and Smutty Book Coven (or the Nevermore Coven, for short) are also a key part of the story, pulling Winnie into their murder mystery investigation. The village sex pest, Danny, has been found dead – exsanguinated, in fact, and, unfortunately, that means one person in Winnie’s life is a key suspect…
That said, this is very much Winnie and Alaric’s story, and, truthfully, it’s Winnie’s past that hits the hardest. Maybe it’s just that we’ve all spent enough time in the company of moody old vampires (literary or otherwise), but Winnie’s charm simply draws you in, and Fangs for Nothing gradually reveals that there’s far more to her than a suspiciously clean break-up. As we learn more about her, her career, and her ex, it becomes clear that she has just as much to work through as a centuries old being with a violent past.
As someone with zero familiarity with the larger Steffanie Holmes universe, I fell into the world with ease, making this a great standalone spooky romance. Though I’m willing to bet that, like me, new readers will be clamouring to dive deeper into the Nevermore Coven once they’re finished. Hot tip: Holmes has a handy reading list on her website to get you started.
I feel like I’ve done quite well avoiding vampire puns thus far, so I’ll allow myself just one, as a treat. Fangs for Nothing is a cozy paranormal romance with Gothic bite (get it?). It’s funny, sexy, and peppered with pop culture references. Settle in with a nice glass of red (wine, of course, what else would it be?) and get to know Winnie and Alaric a little better – just don’t be surprised if you find yourself wanting to reorganise your entire house afterwards.
FOUR STARS (OUT OF FIVE)
Steffanie Holmes’ Fangs for Nothing is out June 4th through Atria Australia. Grab yourself a copy from your local bookstore HERE
