Strapped for cash? Here's a little idea: next year, contact AJ, get him to agree for you to set up a stall in the Soundwave market and ensure you sell merchandise that exclusively and only says the word ‘fuck’ on it. Had you done so this year at Melbourne’s Soundwave, I guarantee you would have left with more coin for your day's work than Mike Patton. The novelty of expletives was inescapable from the moments of walking into the gate through to disembarking from Flinders Street Station; on shirts, hats, pants, badges, tattooed and shaved into hair. Basically, name a body part or a piece of clothing, and there was no doubt a ‘fuck’ to be found on someone amongst the crowd.

Another snappy and blatant observation whilst riding the overcrowded, overheated and slightly pungent carriage towards the festival was the punters. Soundwave draws a crowd I rarely appear to find myself associated with. It's one of the only crowds were you’ll find a large majority of the guys having longer hair than the girls, couples with matching eyeliner and of course, Southern Cross tattoos; oh, the Southern Cross tattoos.

First impressions after arriving through the gate quickly were that a lot of effort and improvements had been implemented to ensure the organization and running of the festival was smoother than previous years. Ample wrist-banding stalls, free water, speedy queues and a strong presence of festival helpers and support were greatly received. In comparison to my last visit to the festival showgrounds for Stereosonic 2009, it was a blissful knowledge that at least some organizers put in paramount levels of effort on all aspects of their festival.

The first act to start my 2009 Soundwave experience was the newly reformed Sunny Day Real Estate. The multi-genre exploring and expanding group hail from Seattle. It’s always a little disappointing when your most anticipated act of the day is on ridiculously early, but regardless, the quartet put on a powerful performance compiled mostly of tracks from their recently re-released album, "Diary". 16 years on with no dwindling in their passion, energy and crowd captivation capabilities, the fact that they're currently working on a new release is a mouth watering prospect.

Heading over to see Isis, I caught the tail end of up and coming USA sludge group Baroness. After having not heard the group before, I was instantly impressed. The group, heavy with independent touring, plays almost 250 shows a year. Their live show reflected their love of performing, with driving melodic accents and intricate guitar work. Isis followed the trend set by Baroness and played a 40-minute, 4-song set that completely slayed the metal shed. While I didn't enjoy their latest album "Wavering Radiant" anywhere near as much as  previous work such as "Celestial" and "Oceanic", it translated stunningly to their live show. Unintentional feedback and folds only intensified the show, which left all fans truly satisfied.

Eagles of Death Metal brought their Californian garage rock to Soundwave '09, but unfortunately appeared to fall a bit flat with the crowd. Front men Jesse Hughes and Josh Homme provided great entertainment, both proving glorified show men with great interaction, but the heat seemed to draw energy from their set. Although, at least if you felt the set was a little half-hearted, you could let them know, as they announced they would be hitting up the Cherry Bar later that night. 

The following two hours were spent aimlessly wandering, taking in the wonders of the festival. The crowd drawn created a much more eclectic nature than other festivals I’ve attended. I caught a few tracks by Clutch, Glassjaw, The Weakerthans and Rolo Tomassi throughout this time. While I'm not a gigantic fan of any of them, Clutch and Glassjaw both provided very entertaining and energetic sets. The Weakerthans played a surprisingly captivating set which proved a highlight of the day. Who would have thought punk and folk would have worked so well together? An excellent blend of the two, with the welcome addition of a truckers cap and an acoustic guitar proved a wonderful addition to the lineup. Now: Rolo Tomassi. Well, what was that? I’m not sure, the crowd wasn’t sure and I’m not even sure the band was sure. It’s was a spectacle, and I’ll leave it at that.

While I was heading back to the main stage to see Placebo, I (sadly) caught some of Paramore. Hurrrrr-rendous. Lead singer Hayley Williams paraded around in what appeared to be a $10 dye job and screeched down the microphone as if her parents had just cut her allowance. Have you ever witnessed someone hitting a feline with an infant? Yeah. It was something like that.

A welcome change followed with the monotonic styling’s of Placebo. The hit-filled set had its highlights with "A Song to Say Goodbye" and "Meds". Apparently they also played "Every Me and Every You", but it was hardly recognizable with their new adaptation of it. After receiving poorer reviews than Whitney Houston on their last tour, the British group had obviously stepped up their live show and produced a performance to leave the 16 year old in all of you proud.

Following Placebo on the adjacent stage were punk veterans AFI. Davey Havok had thrown away the foot long fringe that he sported last tour and for a second there, I’m absolutely certain half of the crowd thought George Michael had hit the stage. Regardless, within a few seconds the dulcet Georgey tones embedded in my imagination were shattered by a few grasps and growls. Playing a set comprised of both heavy material from "Sing the Sorrow" and the recent release "Crash Love", the quartet produced a painful and unpleasant set which I quite frankly couldn’t wait to see finish. From the opening of "Medicate" to the finale "Miss Murder", it appeared contrived and uninspired- perhaps personal bias has broken through, but they are truly one of the bands I cannot see any appeal in.

Unfortunately, the black shirt and tattoo cladded AFI crowd dispersed afterwards; they truly could have used the lesson of rock and roll than Jane’s Addiction was about to deliver. The moment Perry Farrell took to the microphone, you would have been forgiven for thinking he was off to the Greyhound after the show. There was burlesque, there were ridiculous solos, and there was enthusiasm that only an egotistical maniac could exert. It was self-glorified, it rendered close to aural masturbation with the amount of satisfaction Farrell received from prancing around with his chest out. But my god, it was fucking fantastic. The highlight of the day was their rendition of "Three Days", with "Whores and Ocean Size" also hitting the mark- hard and thoroughly at that. The rendition of "Jane Says" to close out the set with Navarro and Avery traded their electrics for acoustics, while Perkins played percussion was an improbable yet stunning end to a set by a group I truly believed I would never get to witness. 

Jimmy Eat World followed, and while they were an impressive and applaudable last minute replacement for My Chemical Romance, they seemed a faltered act between reunited rock outfits on the main stages. They brought a mellow and soft performance to Soundwave 2010. Their signature track "The Middle" seemed to be an uplifting and energetic moment for the arena, but unfortunately the rest of their set seemed flawed and filled with tiring and boorish Faith No More fans roaring at the stage for them to get off. Always a disappointing trend in Australian festival culture, but The Strokes playing before Metallica and Bjork before Rage Against The Machine would probably sentiment that Jimmy Eat World got off lightly.

Following Jimmy Eat World I was left with quite a judgment to make. Faith No More – the ridiculously hyped and renowned rock gods who you couldn’t walk an alley way throughout Melbourne without seeing one of their tour shirts, or, HIM, Finnish self dubbed love-metal outfit which my 15 year old self would have mutilated me for passing it up.

I’m so sorry, I went with the latter.

After disembarking from the main stages and settling down in the stands of stage 5, it was a relaxed and refreshing setting as the sun started to set and the blistering heat started to diminish. It seemed more than appropriate that just before their set I was forced to listen to 5 teenage friends discussing the demented love lives of their friends. Camilla, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry, but David cheated on you two weeks ago.

Moments later, HIM hit the stage and I more comfortably accepted the reality that was forced upon the 15-year-old in me when I saw them in Sydney several years ago. They just don’t cut it live. The sound levels were skewed, the guitar solos weak, and Ville’s voice truly reflected his pack-a-day habits. Still, it was a nice piece of nostalgia to hear "Right Here In My Arms" once again. The tracks from their recent release fell significantly flat, having not heard them beforehand. "Like St. Valentine" and "Heart Killer" reminded me just why I’d be so greatly embarrassed if someone was to find my HIM memorabilia and merchandise stash carefully hidden in the closet at my mother’s house. It was nice having you in my life once, guys, but I doubt we’ll cross paths ever again.

Twenty minutes before their set ended I jumped up and hit off for the train home to beat the crowds. All in all, it was an enjoyable day. Well organized, stunning performances and one hell of a sunburn will serve to remind me. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s a festival I will return to. I’m not one to let a crowd ruin a day for me, but sometimes it’s unavoidable. I mean, circle pits? Come on guys, these are expensive shoes. On the trip home, two 15-year-old girls discussing Alexisonfire and donning their proudly homemade Soundwave shirts with their self-proclaimed slogan ‘smoke weed’ reinforced this; I’m a much happier camper among the care free and scantily dressed acid trippers at Meredith. Speaking of which, Golden Plains next week? I think I’ll be much more at home.