I guess ‘weird’ or 'odd' are subjective terms, but for the sake of journalistic ease, we shall use the term, as opposed to ‘a bit left-of-centre but not actually very weird to some people at all’. These are tracks that make yours truly do a whiplash double-take- perhaps they make you, too?

Humpty Dance - Digital Underground

Ignoring the video (wherein the absurd pseudo-rapper fronting Digital Underground appears as some sort of goofy urban clown) and the cheesy refrain (“Do the humpty hump”), Humpty Dance is pretty standard fare for the early 90s rap-lite scene. The likes of Will Smith in 'Fresh Prince' phase flourished in this cheeky-but-not-so-offensive sub-genre and Digital Underground are no different, on this particular track, anyway. Some key phrases (that had no context, so have not been taken out of one) include:

“I like my oatmeal lumpy”
“I’m standing tall and just like Humpty Dumpty, ya gonna fall when the stereos pump me”
“Come here, fat girl, are you ticklish? / Yeah, I called you fat, look at me, I’m skinny”
“I’m a freak, I like the girls with the boom/ I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj9_yW8tZxs

Lotion- Greenskeepers

Shudder. Greenskeepers singer Nick Maurer channels Salad Fingers in this swampy ode to cannibalistic sadomasochism. The sparse, heavy guitar strings coupled with Maurer’s scarily calm vocals (“It puts the lotion on its skin…or else it gets the hose again…”) make for a quite unsettling few minutes indeed. Play it with a nice Chianti.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ToNZHG5KHw

Radio- PK Spaceship

A brief Pinky Beecroft project, PK Spaceship’s Radio is one part Machine Gun Fellatio and one part sleazy Pulp. “Who do I have to fuck to get this on the radio?” Pinky asks; well, I dunno…Richard Kingsmill, I guess, but I haven’t got his number. The track appears to be a more or less homicidal ode to the people that control the fate of working musicians (“Hey Missus Programmer, get yourself to bed/ Hey Mister Programmer, I wish you were dead”)

This one, much like Beecroft himself, is delightfully and contagiously odd, with a dash of foul-mouthed charm.

Al Stankus Is Always On the Phone with His Bookie- Anal C*nt

Let the record show that I have no problem with the above word that has been invaded by the ever-censoring asterisk; I’d no doubt have trouble getting this article published if that word were to be uttered (typed…) into cyberspace. Anyway!

By and large, long-standing American grindcore act Anal C*nt’s entire discography is relatively startling to more prudent tastes. From Eating Cancer to I Hate Jed Davis, He Sucks and He's Gay, AC have, at least, a sense of humour about their work, even if it can be an immature and crass one. At most, some have said they are puerile, tasteless and without talent. This writer takes no stand one way or the other on the artistic merit of a band called ‘Anal C*nt’, but you all have fun with that.

Too Fat Polka- Andrews Sisters

“I don’t want him, you can have him, he’s too fat for me”- gasp! Such sweet voices singing such nasty words. The Andrews Sisters were a jazz-swing trio of Fourties, specialising in sweet vocal harmonies and cheeky, girlish songs.

The track bounces along with honky-tonk piano and well-placed horns as the lasses wax both insulting and complimentary on their Rubanesque amour. The girls affably giggling throughout and the uproarious laughter that ends the song prove how absurd the song is, and you can’t be too mad for their weight-ist remarks.

http://www.myspace.com/officialandrewssisters

Little Girls- Oingo Boingo

Love the Boingo though I do, this song does manage to creep even me out a tad. Even my secret crush on Danny Elfman (…whoops) backs up a little when he sings a line like “I, I, I love little girls, they make me feel so good/ I love, little girls, they make me feel so bad”.

Possibly one of the most underrated bands of the last few decades, Oingo Boingo made brilliant and bizarre numbers like this their forte. The jittery, marauding synth and guitar cover the song in a cloak of glorious eighties absurdity while Elfman growls lines like “Isn’t this what life’s all about? / Isn’t this a dream come true? / Isn’t this a nightmare too??”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jItz-uNjoZA

Love Me Sexy – Will Ferrell

Although intrinsic to the plot of the heinously un-funny ‘Semi-Pro’, Love Me Sexy is an absolute cracker of a song in its own right that might have made the film bearable if it weren’t….so unbearable. Anyway, the song is performed by Ferrell- who is actually a rather good vocalist, as he shows in most of his movies - at the film’s opening and, you know, it is kind of sexy…

A seventies-era porno-type ode, the song combines actually very good funk musicianship with comedy: “Let’s get sweaty, real sweaty/ I’m talkin’ rainforest sweaty”, “Our zodiac signs are compatible/ Clockin’ that ass from across the room.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3bjm0Wsn4w

Young Guns- Wham!

This one needs a closer inspection before you may deem it any which way from odd, but I find it very unsettling indeed. Young Guns is your prototypical synth-soaked, bass-led eighties number, nothing too outlandish there. It’s lyrically that the song gets under your skin; the words, I presume, are meant to illustrate front-man George Michael’s disappointment that perfectly rambunctious, sluttish young men are throwing themselves away (“One, two, take a look at you/ Death, by, mat-ri-mony!”) for love and marriage and the baby carriage. Looking closely, though, and considering the Michael we know a little too well, now…

“Well, I hadn’t seen your face around town a while/ So I greeted you with a knowing smile”

“I remember when we had such fun and everything was fine/ I remember when we use to have a good time, partners in crime/ Tell me that’s all in the past and I will gladly walk away/ Tell me that you’re happy now, turnin’ my back, nothing to say”

Around the 2:53 mark, I have always noticed, the lyrics turn to shouts of “Get back! Hands off! Go for it!” which gives one the impression of brother beating on his missus. Anyone else get that vibe?