The other night I was up at the pub with some friends and one of the girls pulled out a chocolate bar. She’d bought it from some place earlier that day, and decided to bring it down to let us all try some, the kind hearted lass that she is. It was, funnily enough, German chocolate. Upon eating it we all decided that it didn’t taste bad, not good, but it did it’s job of being chocolate without being stand-out. This, to us, made it efficient chocolate. Which was hilarious considering it was German – as they’re known for their efficiency, and the fact that chocolate had never been before described as efficient.

Not that we knew of.

Everything German – from their cars to their work ethic and the jokes about German people having no sense of humour, all stem back to their efficiency culturally and as a nation. Hell, I’m pretty sure it’s them stopping the entirety of Europe now from going bust.

So it’s kind of funny that Rammstein, are the complete opposite. The very name of one of the best kraut rock/metal acts ever that sends shivers down my spine every time I think about their unbelievable performance at the ’11 Big Day Out, complete with fireworks, giant flame walls and a German flag big enough to cover the entire stage. Their music is known as hard-hitting and offensive, not delicate and efficient as you’d expect from a German metal band. They do much more than get the job done – they make sure that it will never be have to done again for a million years.

So when this album came across my desk, I was understandably a little disappointed to find out it was a greatest hits album – something I usually avoid. It also screams of efficiency – especially with the words ‘remastered’ on the cover. The version I had in my hands was the standard edition – the music and nothing else. Although there are indeed three different versions – one with the CD (Standard), one with two CDs (Deluxe) of which the second contains the best of remixes, and the final ‘Super Deluxe Edition’ with three extra DVDs with all the film clips and the making of for all.

However, as a small marketing ploy the band has released a brand new track for the album entitled ‘Mein Land’ – translated it becomes ‘My Country’. And I have to say this track is absolutely rockin’. It’s perhaps echoing the later Rammstein style rather than their earlier more synth-heavy lines and obvious industrial feel. Also, all the old tracks have been remastered for the release resulting in a much more full sound, less grainy and overall a much more pleasurable listening experience – as pleasurable as listening to the German language for longer than thirty minutes can be.

But that being said, it didn’t add anything new to the album. If you go back to my review on Dark Side of the Moon, the reason the remastering on that was a huge improvement was because they took liberties in bringing out new things that I’d never noticed before. It made the album sound better to the point where I could see the point in purchasing it – "Mein Land" and Made in Germany doesn’t really give me that feeling.

Perhaps it’s merely the fact that the music isn’t exactly heavy on the grey matter, it’s grungy and awesome, yes, but it doesn’t give me that ‘wow’ factor that I usually get with listening to an album for the first time. Even with the new song thrown in, the album was a little lacklustre. The remastering made it sound far too efficient. Which is exactly the problem. It sounds too clean for their image, for their style.

Remember the chocolate bar? This band, which once would have been the chocolate bar that grew arms and legs to pick itself up and threaten to beat you unless you eat it, and failing that pick itself up and force itself down your throat, had now become the very same chocolate bar that I’d eaten a few weeks ago at the pub. Efficient and inoffensive, doing its job quietly and letting someone else take the limelight.

Rammstein is supposed to be dirty, gritty and powerfully inefficient. It’s like the carrier strategy from Starcraft, or using a bazooka to kill a fly: inefficient and cumbersome, but it’ll work goddamn it – and make a good show whilst it’s at it. This album just took all of that away, and with it, the soul and very essence of Rammstein.

The album overall was, frankly, a let down. It would serve its purpose introducing new members to the band, but as a Rammstein album, and indeed "Mein Land" as a Rammstein track? That just doesn’t sit well with me. Maybe I’m biased after seeing their live shows – maybe I can’t picture them without a wall of flames or pyrotechnics and foam, but the album just added nothing, took the grit away and polished everything up that wasn’t supposed to be shiny.

If you’ve got a friend who wants to hear what it’s all about – give this to them, but if you’re a fan be prepared to listen once and archive. It’s nothing special for a fan, but a great gateway for a first-time listener into the world of Rammstein.

Review Score: 6/10